Plant words to improve self-image

Earlier in this chapter, I discussed how conversation influences both public and self-image. How we talk about others influences interpersonal perceptions. How we hear others talk about us shapes our own self-image and how we talk to oiuselves about these viewpoints can make them a permanent feature of our self-concept or self-esteem. 

Do you want to change how others perceive you Change the conversations people are having about you. Through proactive listening, you can become aware of negative interpersonal conversations about you and then you can interject new statements about yourself into conversations, especially with people who have numerous contacts with others. 

consider the tendency to focus interpersonal and intrapersonal conversation on the past. This helps us connect with others, but it also feeds our prejudice filters and limits the potential for conversation to facilitate beneficial change. We enable progress when we move conversations with ourselves and others from past to future possibilities and then to the development of an action plan. 

Expect people to protect Iheir self-esteem with excuses for their past mistakes. Listen proactively for barriers to safe behavior reflected in these excuses. Then help the conversation shift to a discussion of possibilities for improvement and personal commitment to apply a practical action plan. This is more likely to occur with a nondirective than a directive approach, in which more questions are asked than directives given, and when opening words are used to protect self-esteem and limit the impact of reactive bias. 

Remember that planting certain words in self-talk and conversations with others can improve your self-image and confidence as a facilitator of beneficial change. Tell others of your increased commitment to facilitate more effective safety conversations. Then, tell yourself the strategies you will use to improve interpersonal conversation and commend yourself when you do. In this way, intra- and interpersonal conversations work together to help achieve a Total Safety Culture. 

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