Organizational Sentencing

On a scale of 1-5, this essay received a 2. Organizationally, it has three paragraphs and each contains a main idea. However, two of them also include the introduction and conclusion. While they don t detract from or confuse the author s ideas, there are numerous errors in grammar and spelling. Most sentences are very short, and the lack of variety detracts from the essay. A strong point of view is maintained, but it gets lost in the unsophisticated and overly informal vocabulary. 

Check the organization of your written work by making an outline from its headings, subheadings, and first sentences of key paragraphs. Is the organizational structure clear Logical ... 

Underlying the organizational pattern is the basic essay structure, assertion-support. That is, an essay has a main idea, which should be stated near the beginning, and the rest of the essay serves to develop and support that idea. The same structure is repeated in each paragraph there is one main idea, often expressed in a topic sentence, and the rest of the paragraph supports that idea. 

Contains a general organizational plan and focus, with some unity and flow of ideas Demonstrates a sufficient but inconsistent command of language, with mostly appropriate word choice and some variation in sentence structure Contains some errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics... 

This essay score a 3. There is a loose organizational structure, and the writer does take a stand, but it is weakened by a number of disclaimers, such as I think it can probably buy and In my opinion. Remember, a direct, confident approach is best. Many points are made for which there is no evidence or other types of support (what is the connection between health and slums, for example ). Errors in grammar and spelling are plentiful, and include a sentence fragment, a run-on sentence, and confused words (their/they re, your/you re). The conclusion is one sentence at the end of the last paragraph, and while it does generally reiterate the thesis, it is trite, has a weakening disclaimer, and contains a comma splice. 

If you follow the guidelines presented in the first two parts of this book, you may never experience writer s block again. By the time you begin to write coherent sentences, you should already have a thesis statement, an organizational pattern, and a body of coherent evidence. 

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